S3 E3: What to look for in a provider

Finding the right counselor can feel overwhelming. With so many different approaches, specialties, and terms, it’s hard to know where to start. But don’t worry—by the end of this episode, you’ll have a clear understanding of what to look for in a provider who’s right for you.

We’ll talk about key terms like trauma-informed care, HAES-aligned counseling, and modality-specific specialties. Plus, I’ll share practical tips to help you feel confident in your search

Transcript

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Hi there, and welcome back to Health Hope Harmony, the podcast where we explore all things mental health, healing, and growth. Today, we're expanding on our last episode and tackling a big question: What should you look for in a mental health provider?

Finding the right counselor can feel overwhelming. With so many different approaches, specialties, and terms, it’s hard to know where to start. But don’t worry—by the end of this episode, you’ll have a clear understanding of what to look for in a provider who’s right for you.

We’ll talk about key terms like trauma-informed care, HAES-aligned counseling, and modality-specific specialties. Plus, I’ll share practical tips to help you feel confident in your search. Let’s dive in!

Segment 1: Why Finding the Right Provider Matters
“First, let’s talk about why finding the right provider matters.

Counseling is a deeply personal experience. To make meaningful progress, you need a provider you feel comfortable with—someone who understands your needs, aligns with your values, and has the expertise to support your goals.

Think of it like this: Counseling isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Just like you’d want a doctor who specializes in a specific condition, you want a counselor whose approach and experience match what you’re looking for. The right fit can make all the difference in your healing journey.

I usually share this personal story during my intakes with clients. A bulk of my own counseling took place while I was in grad school. Our student services had a counseling department and we were able to attend up to so many sessions per semester. The counselor I saw there, Jill Mallin was amazing. I felt seen, heard, supported, and safe to talk about anything I wanted or needed to. She got me through the death of my parents and my pregnancy. Unfortunately, when I graduated I could no longer see her. I loved Jill so much I was tempted to take a class or two just so I could continue with her. The next person I saw specialized in postpartum mental health, which on paper she was great and seemed like what I needed at the time. I lasted two or 3 sessions with her and don’t even remember her name. While I thought she was pretty informed clinically and was probably a good counselor, she wasn’t good for me. Personality wise we didn’t click and I dreaded going. Can’t make much progress if you don’t go. 

I share this story to let you know, we as providers know how important it is to feel comfortable with your counselor. And if you don’t feel comfortable you won’t make progress. We want what’s best for you, even if that isn’t us.

Segment 2: Key Terms to Know When Searching for a Provider
“Now, let’s decode some common terms you might come across when searching for a provider.

1. Trauma-Informed Care
   This means the therapist recognizes how trauma can impact your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. A trauma-informed provider creates a safe space for you to explore difficult experiences without fear of judgment or re-traumatization.

They’ll focus on building trust, prioritizing your comfort, and working at a pace that feels manageable for you. If you have a history of trauma, this approach is essential.

1. HAES-Aligned (Health at Every Size)
   HAES stands for Health at Every Size, and it’s a weight-neutral approach to health and therapy. HAES-aligned providers reject diet culture and weight stigma, focusing instead on holistic well-being, self-compassion, and sustainable habits.

If you’re working on body image, eating disorders, or any concerns tied to food and weight, finding a HAES-aligned provider ensures you’ll receive support rooted in respect for your body and your unique needs.

1. Modality-Specific Specialties
   You might also see providers listing specific modalities they use in therapy. These are the frameworks or techniques they’re trained in, and each has a unique focus.

Here are a few examples:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps you identify and change unhelpful thought patterns.
• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Focuses on emotional regulation and coping skills, often used for trauma and mood disorders.
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): A specialized approach for processing trauma.
• Somatic Therapy: Focuses on the mind-body connection to release trauma stored in the body.
• 
  

Let’s dive a little deeper into those key terms we just discussed—trauma-informed care, HAES-aligned therapy, and modality-specific specialties. To make these concepts more relatable, I want to share a couple of personal stories that highlight why these qualities are so important when choosing a therapist.

1. Trauma-Informed Care
Trauma-informed care is all about creating a safe and supportive environment where the client feels empowered. It’s not just about knowing how to work with trauma—it’s about understanding how trauma might show up in every aspect of someone’s life, including in the counseling room.

Story of a Good Fit:
Years ago, I referred a client who had experienced significant childhood trauma to a trauma-informed therapist. After just a few sessions, the client shared how comforting it was that their counselor took extra care to explain every step of the process. For example, the counselor asked for consent before diving into sensitive topics and offered grounding exercises to help the client feel in control during tough moments. That safety allowed the client to open up and begin their healing journey.

Story of a Poor Fit:
On the other hand, I’ve heard stories where a lack of trauma-informed care made counseling harder. One person told me they left a session feeling shaken because their counselor pushed them to talk about their trauma before they were ready. The counselor meant well but didn’t recognize the need to build trust first. This experience left the client feeling unsafe and unwilling to return to counseling for years.

Takeaway:
If you have a trauma history, look for words like “trauma-informed” or “trauma-sensitive” in a counselor’s profile. During a consultation, don’t hesitate to ask how they approach trauma work and how they ensure safety in their sessions.

2. HAES-Aligned Therapy
Finding a therapist aligned with Health at Every Size principles can make all the difference for people struggling with body image, eating disorders, or diet culture’s impact.

Story of a Good Fit:
One client of mine shared how life-changing it was to find a HAES-aligned provider. They had spent years with counselors who subtly reinforced weight stigma by focusing on weight loss as a solution to mental health concerns. When they finally found a HAES-aligned counselor, the shift was remarkable. Instead of talking about body size, the counselor focused on self-compassion, coping strategies, and intuitive eating. This approach helped the client rebuild trust in their body and foster a sense of self-worth that wasn’t tied to their weight.

Story of a Poor Fit:
Conversely, I’ve had people tell me about sessions with well-meaning counselors who weren’t HAES-aligned. For example, one person seeking help for anxiety shared how their counselor suggested they lose weight to "feel better." Not only was this suggestion unhelpful, but it also reinforced the shame and pressure they were already feeling about their body. They ended up leaving counseling, convinced it wasn’t for them—until they found someone HAES-aligned.

Takeaway:
If body image or eating concerns are part of your story, a HAES-aligned provider ensures the focus remains on holistic well-being, not on weight. During a consultation, ask how they approach conversations about body image and health.

3. Modality-Specific Specialties
Counselors use a wide range of modalities, and finding one that resonates with you can enhance your experience. Let me share an example from both sides of the spectrum.

Story of a Good Fit:
A client with severe anxiety started seeing a therapist trained in CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is very structured and focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns. The client appreciated having practical tools to use between sessions, like thought logs and reframing exercises. They felt empowered by the structure and saw significant improvement in their anxiety after just a few months.

Story of a Poor Fit:
In contrast, another person I know tried EMDR, which is a trauma-processing modality involving eye movements. While EMDR works wonderfully for many people, this client found the approach too intense and overwhelming, especially early in their counseling journey. What they really needed was a counselor who would focus on building rapport and offering grounding techniques before diving into trauma work. After switching to a somatic therapist who emphasized the mind-body connection, they finally felt supported and ready to heal.

Takeaway:
When looking at modalities, think about what might resonate with you. If you’re unsure, don’t worry—most counselors blend modalities to meet your needs. During a consultation, ask how they decide which techniques to use and whether they adapt their approach over time.

I share these stories because I’ve seen how the right provider can be a catalyst for healing, while a poor fit can delay progress or even turn someone off therapy altogether. Remember, it’s not just about the counselor’s qualifications—it’s about how they make you feel. You deserve to work with someone who respects your story, aligns with your values, and has the expertise to guide you toward your goals.

“Now that we’ve explored what trauma-informed care, HAES-aligned therapy, and modality-specific specialties mean—and shared some stories along the way—let’s move on to the practical side of finding a provider. How do you actually choose the right therapist for you? Let’s break it down.

Practical Tips for Choosing a Provider

1. Research Online
   Start by looking at provider directories like Psychology Today or Inclusive Therapists. You can filter by specialties, modalities, and insurance. Many providers also have websites where they share details about their practice and approach.
2. Read Bios Carefully
   When reading a therapist’s bio, look for phrases that resonate with you. Do they mention experience with your specific concerns? Are they trauma-informed or HAES-aligned? Do their modalities match what you’re looking for?
3. Check Logistics
   Before reaching out, confirm practical details like:

• Are they accepting new clients?
• Do they accept your insurance or offer sliding scale rates?
• Do their session formats (in-person, virtual, or hybrid) fit your needs?

1. Schedule a Consultation
   Most therapists offer a free 15–20 minute consultation to help you decide if they’re a good fit. Use this time to ask questions like:

• What’s your experience with clients who have [specific concern]?
• How would you describe your approach to therapy?
• What can I expect in our first few sessions?

1. Trust Your Gut
   Finally, trust your instincts. You don’t have to have an instant connection, but you should feel safe, respected, and understood. If something feels off, it’s okay to keep looking.”

Segment 4: Red and Green Flags to Watch For

Now that we’ve discussed the practical aspects of finding a therapist and explained key terms, let’s talk about the heart of the matter: fit and alignment. This is where therapy really becomes transformative. Even the most skilled therapist may not be the right match for everyone—and that’s okay. It’s about finding someone who aligns with your needs, values, and personality. Let me share a few stories to illustrate what I mean.”

1. The Magic of Feeling Understood
Sometimes, finding the right therapist can feel like finding someone who truly gets you for the first time.

Story of a Good Fit:
One person I worked with had struggled for years with body image concerns. They had seen counselors in the past, but something was always missing. When they found a HAES-aligned counselor who also specialized in body image and eating disorders, everything changed. During the first session, the counselor used language that immediately put them at ease, saying things like, ‘You don’t have to change your body to be worthy of care.’

For the first time, they felt seen and validated, and it created a safe space to explore their feelings. This alignment with the counselor’s approach built trust and became the foundation for their healing journey.

Story of a Poor Fit:
Contrast that with another individual who sought counseling for body image concerns but ended up with a counselor who didn’t specialize in that area. During the first session, the therapist made an offhand comment about how "everyone feels better when they lose a little weight." It wasn’t malicious, but it was harmful—and completely misaligned with the client’s needs. Unsurprisingly, the client didn’t return.

Takeaway:
Fit is about feeling understood. During your first few sessions, pay attention to whether your counselor uses language that feels supportive and whether their approach resonates with you.

2. Personality Matters
Beyond credentials and specialties, personality plays a huge role in the therapeutic relationship.

Story of a Good Fit:
One listener shared how they were nervous about starting counseling but clicked immediately with their counselor because of their warm, conversational style. The counselor shared small, relatable anecdotes to normalize their experiences, which helped the client feel less alone. That connection made it easier for the client to open up about difficult topics.

Story of a Poor Fit:
Another listener described seeing a counselor who was more clinical and less conversational. While this style works wonderfully for some people, it left the client feeling disconnected and unheard. They decided to switch counselors and found someone with a more empathetic, laid-back approach. That shift in personality was the key to building trust.

Takeaway:
Counseling is a relationship. It’s okay to prioritize finding someone whose personality and communication style make you feel comfortable.

3. Shared Values and Cultural Competence
Alignment in values and cultural understanding can make a big difference, especially for clients from marginalized communities or those with specific lived experiences.

Story of a Good Fit:
A friend of mine, who identifies as queer, shared how affirming it was to work with a counselor who openly advertised LGBTQ+ competence. During their first session, the counselor asked about their pronouns and shared that they had experience working with clients navigating identity-related stress. This simple acknowledgment created a sense of safety and allowed the client to dive into deeper issues without fear of judgment.

Story of a Poor Fit:
Conversely, another individual, a woman of color, shared a story about working with a counselor who lacked cultural competence. When she brought up experiences of microaggressions and racism, the counselor minimized her feelings, saying, “Are you sure it’s not just a misunderstanding?” This lack of validation made her feel alienated, and she decided to find a counselor who specialized in working with diverse populations.

Takeaway:
If shared values or cultural understanding are important to you, look for providers who highlight these aspects in their profiles. Don’t hesitate to ask about their experience during a consultation.

4. Openness to Feedback
Even when you find a good fit, counseling isn’t always perfect—and that’s okay. What matters is whether your counselor is open to feedback.

Story of a Good Fit:
One client shared that they initially struggled to connect with their counselor. After a few sessions, they nervously brought it up, saying, “I feel like we’re not on the same page with what I need right now.” The counselor responded with gratitude and adjusted their approach. This willingness to adapt made the client feel respected and deepened their trust in the relationship.

Story of a Poor Fit:
In contrast, another person described trying to share feedback with their counselor about wanting more structure in sessions. The counselor became defensive, insisting their way was best. This response left the client feeling dismissed, and they eventually decided to end counseling.

Takeaway:
Counselors are human, too. A great counselor welcomes your feedback and works collaboratively to adjust their approach to meet your needs.

In my own work as a counselor, I’ve learned that fit is more than just checking boxes—it’s about creating a relationship where the client feels safe, respected, and supported. Finding that fit takes courage and sometimes a little trial and error, but it’s worth it. You deserve a counselor who meets you where you are and helps you grow.”

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, but I hope these stories remind you that it’s okay to take your time and prioritize your needs. 

Before we wrap up, let’s quickly touch on red and green flags to look for when choosing a provider.

Green Flags:

• They listen without judgment and validate your feelings.
• They explain their approach clearly and answer your questions.
• They respect your boundaries and work at your pace.

Red Flags:

• They dismiss your concerns or push their own agenda.
• They seem disorganized or unprepared.
• They make you feel judged, uncomfortable, or unsafe.

Remember, the right counselor is out there, and it’s okay to take your time finding them.

“I hope today’s episode has given you the clarity and confidence to start your search for the right provider. Counseling is a powerful tool for growth and healing, and finding a provider who’s the right fit is an important first step.

If you have any questions or want to share your own experiences with finding a counselor, reach out to me at info@healthhopeharmony.com.

Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, be gentle with yourself and take the next step toward the support you deserve.